blogs « The Imaginary Wedding

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Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Can you be too romantic?

This blog has had many positive effects on my life. It has given me a place where I can express how I am feeling. It has shown me how much I love my boyfriend—and it has encouraged me to not be afraid to say that—to myself, to the world, and to him. I also read some stat that writing about your relationship for at least 20 minutes a week significantly increases your chances of staying together. Extra bonus!

However. This writing about love may have directed my thoughts to love slightly more often then before. Being able to express one’s self is good—and I am sure there first two times I turned to him with tears in my eyes and expressed how much I care about him, he was deeply moved. But by number five of these heartfelt confessions, maybe not so much.

Guys—at least my guy—can be a little romance intolerant. As he said, rather lovingly I think: Put it in the blog, baby.

Posted in blogs, the man on marriage | 1 Comment »

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Some things I realized from reading wedding blogs—many thanks to all of you!

1) That I want to put the emphasis on the relationship/marriage not the wedding

2) That, notwithstanding, I will endless obsess over details related to, at this point, the imaginary wedding

3) That a wedding is a symbolic performance that enacts the joining of two people’s lives. Might as well make it a great event, no? And your poor guests—don’t they deserve a good time?

4) That weddings are scary—and I don’t mean all the tulle (I love tulle)—because they mean so much

5) That our fears and anxieties about the wedding are our fears and anxieties about ourselves and our relationship

6) That a perfect wedding cannot guarantee a perfect marriage

7) That, if I marry the man I love, I want that experience to be filled with joy

Because, let’s face it, how amazing is it to commit to someone for your whole life? That you’ve even found someone you love so much in the first place? Remember when it was hard to find someone you even wanted to go on a second date with?

Posted in blogs, weddings | 2 Comments »

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Hiding your wedding habit

The main problem with being really interested in wedding stuff when you live with your boyfriend and you are, inconveniently, not engaged is how do you keep him from noticing? Here’s how, in case you are curious:

1) Only read wedding magazines out of the house

2) If you must read a wedding magazine in the house, do it when he is not home and recycle it quickly

3) If you must read a wedding magazine in the house, read it in another room and hide it quickly

4) If you must read a wedding blog next to him on the couch, angle the computer screen away

5) If caught looking a wedding site on your computer, say you are doing research for a friend

Sounds like a bad habit, no?

Photo via mattandaudrey.com

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Monday, November 16th, 2009

The descent into madness, continued

Undeterred by friends and family (yes, I told my mom that I was starting to think about marriage), I continued to plan my imaginary wedding.

1) I looked at cake vendors. The location is a bit remote, and the only bakery nearby looked not so good. I explored many vendors in a 45 mile radius. Definitely buttercream frosting, no fondant no matter how architecturally appealing. Thank The Knot, I saved some pictures of attractive cakes, too.

2) I started watching Yes to the Dress. My, wedding dresses are pretty. My vocabulary to describe a dress almost immediately improved. Pick-ups, I do not like them. I also now know the names of many wedding designers—very useful information.

3) Ah, invitations. So many fabulous choices. Funnily enough, even though I was planning an imaginary wedding—price is no object! Helicopters! Ice sculptures! Horse-drawn carriages! I’m going to rent out a small town!—I almost immediately rejected fancy wedding invite packages and letterpress and started to explore DIY options and Etsy. Because how would my boyfriend and I afford such an expensive wedding? Something had to give.

4) I started reading wedding blogs. And that was it; I was really in it.

Cakes from Weddings180.com

Posted in blogs, cake, dresses, invitations | No Comments »

Monday, November 9th, 2009

On starting a blog

With all the other writing projects I should be working on, the last thing I should be doing is starting a blog. I worry that it will be like a plant that I buy with good intentions and then forget about: what if after 3 weeks, I don’t want to blog any more? But on the other hand, I have been so inspired by blogs recently, especially ones relating to relationships and marriage. I started off looking for, let’s face it, wedding porn. My obsession with Yes to the Dress just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Luckily a friend recommended A Practical Wedding, so I started by reading that. It wasn’t a conversion experience, exactly, but it was the joy that I am sure a lot of people (except me) have been getting from blogs all this time, that moment when you realize, oh, but that’s how I think about this! Blogs like “A Practical Wedding” made me realize that I was doing more than planning an imaginary wedding in my head (more on that later), I was trying to find ways to think about the relationship I was in, and the commitment I wanted to make to that relationship. I was trying to envision my future, and somehow images of flowers, décor, ceremonies, and love were helping.

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