I’ve taken a little hiatus from posting for awhile. Not that I wasn’t going full tilt wedding ahead and that there weren’t things to blather on about, but I guess I needed to clear my internet head. Now the wedding is less than one month away. And this is what I want to say:
I am overwhelmed with joy. And not because of my dress, the cake, or any of that bullshit. Because it is, let’s face it, beautiful, pretty, very fun bullshit. I am overwhelmed and close-to-tears pretty much a lot of the time because I feel so fortunate that I am going to get to marry the man I love. It sounds so silly. But as someone who was married before–and loved her ex–I did not know that it could feel this way. I can’t wait to marry him, to be married to him. I would do it in our messy living room in my pajamas this very moment. We have a really cool officiant–I think she would be all for it. I am excited that our family and friends will be there. I am excited that we will have good wine, and a great DJ. But it turns out none of it actually matters. What matters is that I will get to be his wife and he will get to be my husband. It turns out my wedding fantasy wasn’t Catalina after all. My wedding fantasy was to feel honored, happy, lucky, a little nervous, and so, so much teary-eyed joy. I hope that is what you get to feel too, because I believe it must be one of the best feelings in the world.